Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s here now, writing to you.

How can someone get patrons on Patreon if they are a beginner artist?

You are like me, then.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Do you think the number of sissies is on the rise?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

I had run out of hope.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What's your review of the movie Poor Things?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why do I feel sleepy after massage?

I was tired of fighting.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s still here.

Do you have any fantasies you are ashamed of?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Is it true that schizophrenia can sometimes be a demonic attack or black magic?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The sadness was still there.

Be who you already are.

Why cant I sleep on my side after getting my covid vaccine? I just got the shot and I’ve been overstimulated from not being able to sleep, my arm is very sore and it hurts so much to move and I just want to sleep but it hurts if I lay on either side

And the sadness?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.